Christian Marriage: How to Build Trust (Part 1 of 4).
Greetings. How is this area of trust going in your marriage? As you know, trust is very important in your marriage. If you do not have trust, then you probably are not going to have a good marriage but instead an unstable marriage. When trust is low, the marriage relationship is low.
So as a spouse, you first have to figure out if both you and your spouse value trust? Is trust a big deal and important area for your marriage? I know we all think it should be an important area of trust but some spouses falsely assume that your partner values trust as much as you do. This may or may not be true.
So the first thing you may want to do is sit down with your spouse and answer this question: On a scale of 1-10, how important is it to you to build trust in this marriage? How do you define trust? What does trust look like to you when trust gets played out? Make sure you do not assume or go along with this thought: Oh, I just assumed you thought or felt trust was important.
So to build trust really does take two people. Just like taking out a mortgage or loan, it is a good idea for both spouses to be on the loan and both spouses to be on the deed of the property. When you said yes to a marriage, you said yes to two people participating in building and having trust between one another.
As you know, trust first gets built on this word called reliability. Reliable trust has to do with giving the assurance and evidence that you will be dependable, on time, honest and truthful. Think back to when you were dating your spouse. How did you demonstrate over and over again that you were dependable, honest, on time and truthful? How did he or she also demonstrate these same features of trust? Trust is the past and if you can look back over the history of patterns of trust in this area of reliability between you and your spouse, then you can look into the future and sense and know my spouse is reliable.
Far too often, if the past has not demonstrated a reliable trust, some spouses just assume over time that in the future, my spouse will grow up and learn how to be reliable. Now you have been married for five years and you are wondering or asking this question: How come my spouse is not reliable? How has you spouse in the past shown or not shown to be reliable? My hope for you would be to have that discussion with your spouse to clarify and began working on building a trusting relationship based upon reliability. When two people are both participating on building trust, then the marriage can began to grow knowing each person is demonstrating reliability and predictability. If this is not happening, please give me a call or check out my website. Thanks for reading.