Christian Marriage: How to Build Trust (Part 4 of 4).
Greetings and thanks for reading. In this last post, I want to continue to help your and your marriage to find and build meaningful trust in your marriage. Far too often, spouses just assume trust is high and good but never really talk about trust in the marriage. When two people can sit down and ask questions about building a deeper trust in the relationship, then two people are participating in wanting to prove to each other that they can be trustworthy.
So here are some questions I want you to sit down with your spouse and answer in order to build reliable trust and heart trust.
• Can we both say we are honest and truthful with each other?
• Can we both say that we can trust one another?
• Can we both say that we do have each other’s best interest for our relationship?
• Can we both show interest that we are not too self-centered or selfish?
• Can we both say that we are certain we will not intentionally hurt one another?
How did you answer some of these questions? Can you say with certainty that you and your spouse really do value and want to build trust? You see, when two people do place high value on reliable and heart trust, then both people are wanting to protect the marriage from not letting anything in, that may poison or possibly destroy trust.
When trust is low, each spouse will be less likely to ask for and give support. Low trust results in patters of criticism, of trying to force each other to change, as each spouse becomes defensive and self-protecting. When trust is low, couples will become emotionally disconnected.
But when trust is high, than each spouse is willing to share with one another their vulnerabilities, needs and hurts. High trust means each spouse is willing and wanting to give of their heart and their life to one another. Each spouse can say with certainty and confidence: “My spouse is a good person and has good intentions. I know I can trust my spouse with my heart.” To trust with your heart and to build reliable trust, my hope is that you can look over at your spouse and you can describe your spouse as kind, generous, thoughtful, considerate, and having your best interest and well-being in mind at all times.
My challenge to you is this: Each month sit down with your spouse and participate in some healthy conversation in which the two of you are focusing on building trust. Ask one another questions such as what am I doing these days as your spouse in which I am building trust and what should I stop doing that is causing you not to trust me? Can you feel that you are viewing me as someone that you do want to give your heart to and have I done things in this last month that has given you hope that I am a spouse that you can trust?
Remember, trust has to be earned and trust can be built on repeated and successful experiences of constantly demonstrating to one another that you do value trust and want to have a strong marriage built on trust. When you can do this, then you are on the way to building a healthy marriage.
But if you cannot do this, then give me a call. I love to sit down with spouses and help build and re-build trusting marriages and trusting people. Don’t give up, allow me to help you and your spouse, and for the sake of the family, invest in some time and effort to rebuild trust so that you can have a safe marriage and a spouse you want to come home to. By doing this, you can reduce the stress and anxiety in your marriage and have a deep emotional connection with another person that leads to a long & lasting marriage. Heart and reliable trust wins and works.