Healthy vs Unhealthy Intentions (Part 1 of 4)
Greetings and welcome to my post. Last month I invited you to think and consider what do you want when it comes to building a healthy relationship. My hope was for you to value and participate in building healthy relationships. As you do this, you will find the benefits of a healthy relationship which is growth and fruit. Remember, all healthy relationships are growing and producing fruit such as intimacy, closeness, love, kindness, forgiveness, and so forth.
But another important feature to consider when looking at the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is the topic of intention. Intention is very important for all of our relationships because intention helps us and helps the people we are in a relationship with to know where we are coming from.
So how would you define intention? What type of words or examples might you think of when it comes to using this word or an understanding of this word when you think of healthy or unhealthy relationships?
The meaning of this word as it applies to relationships is very important because often one person may not fully understand or find meaning in what the other person in saying or doing. If you know and understand where the other person is coming from and what is their aim or goal, then you might be more understanding of how or what this person’s intentions are.
In general, intention is about the end goal or the purpose for why someone is acting or saying something. So if a spouse has a good intention this coming Valentine’s Day to bring home candy, jewelry or flowers because he wants to express an act of love to his spouse, hopefully in a healthy relationship, the receiving spouse has a good understanding of that person’s intention. He wants to express in these gifts his love for you.
So healthy intention communicates to the other person a goal in mind, so that the receiving person has no doubt or confusion of what is his or her clear intentions. There is less use of these words: I don’t understand why or what you are doing. Each person is singing from the same song page and even the same verse so both parties are in harmony with each other.
As a result, healthy intention results in a building of trust, safety, understanding and healthy response. Each person feels good and confident that whatever situation arises, or whatever problem develops, each person is able to communicate in a clear understanding way what are each other’s intention. And does that not that feel good? Who would not want to sign up for that? When both people have as a goal an intention to understand what or how something is being carried out, then this will breed a healthy relationship. As a result, both people are in harmony and trust is high and doubt or fear is low. Thanks for reading.