Building Healthy Marriage: Where are you? (Part 1 of 4)

Greetings. If I were to walk into your house or apartment, and I were to try to locate where you and your spouse are, where would I find you? Would each of you be in the same room together or would each of you be separate, each doing their own thing? Could you share with me how you are feeling and doing as a spouse and in how the marriage is going?

What if your spouse also approached you three or four times per week? How would you feel if your spouse were to ask you, where are you? You could get defensive and say, “Why are you asking me this question? Can’t you see I am watching a sports event or can’t you see I am on Facebook? What do you mean where am I?”

Two people can be married together and just not know where each other is. Sure, you may be able to view your spouse and you can see where he or she may be inside your home. But this question, where are you, is the invitation for each spouse to share where they are.

If you were to ask each other this question for your marriage, would you be able to say, I feel sad. I feel glad or I feel bad. This question is the invitation for all of us. For those of you who align yourself with the Judeo-Christian tradition, you know in Genesis Chapter 3 this was the first question God asked of Adam Eve in the Garden of Eden.

God knew they were hiding but he wanted to hear from them, if they were going to be honest or not. He was looking for them to be real. They did replay that they were hiding from Him. They strategically were thinking of ways to avoid or not talk to God so they could hide from him.

So in your marriage, do you know where your spouse is? Do you know how or what your spouse is doing? Can you say with confidence that you do know where your spouse is or not? Would he or she say where they are at or would they also be hiding from you? Do the both of you tend to hide from each other?