Christian Marriage: How to Build Trust (Part 2 of 4).
Greetings and thanks for reading. Let me ask you a question: How would you rate the level of trust in your marriage? Would you give it a low number or a high number? If the number is low, what makes up this low number and if it is high, what makes up this number?
As you know, reliable trust is a big deal. Trust gets tested when you notice and observe how well each spouse does in building a reputation of being reliable. Reliability has to do with repeated experiences of demonstrating to one another that you can be trusted and prove to be reliable and dependable. There is evidence to prove this reliable trust.
So reliable and dependable are two great traits to have in a marriage. When you date and then you get married, you are putting your trust in the other person that they will continue to be reliable and dependable in the marriage.
For example, when you spouse picks up the kids from the baseball field on time, just as he or she said they would, you don’t have to worry due to the fact that you can trust your spouse to follow through on this task demonstrating being dependable and reliable. So if your spouse calls and says they are late because they are stuck in traffic, you will not read into this as you know he is on the freeway and accidents or traffic happen. home.
Thus fear and doubt will go away when you really do feel and trust that your spouse will be dependable and reliable to do what they say they are going to do. Your mind does not have to wander or your heart does not have to be afraid as you do trust their word or their actions that they will be promise keepers.
But the reality of life is each person is going to fail you and make a mistake in demonstrating reliability or dependability. When one spouse fails to follow through on a promise, the challenge is to figure out how to heal this failure. So trust can erode when we sugarcoat the truth, or we habitually exaggerate the truth as a cover-up for those little white lies.
So when reliability distrust starts to happen, whether warranted or unwarranted, this may cause husbands and wives to pull away and go into protection mode and not be there emotionally for one another. When mistrust creeps in, this is when two people can began having those conversations about the mistrust so each spouse can began to prove to the other person that you can be trusted again.
The best way to heal a hurt is to promise in the future that you will be reliable and communicate to your spouse that you do want to heal this brokenness. These are the moments in life in which you can be given another chance to show your spouse that you can prove to be a trusted person. The challenge is for each spouse to give the other person that chance. Far too often, it is one strike and you’re out, and you already are judging your spouse falsely concluding he or she cannot be trusted. Each marriage quickly needs to have conversations and bring healing to those broken areas of reliability in order to bring healing to the marriage. If you are having trouble doing this, feel free to give us a call and we are here to help you with this hurt. Don’t give up, hope is available.