Phil Kiehl, LMFTCounseling Altadena CA
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
When I was in my early twenties, my idea about how to find love was to please and give to someone. Growing up in a middle class family that was Christian, I thought that to be a good person meant to always give, be kind, please others and never rock the boat. Solving relationship problems meant not getting angry and also finding a way to make sure others are not angry or unhappy with me. I applied those principals to my first marriage but within two years, I was divorced and depressed. I went into counseling recognizing that I needed help and wanted to figure out what had just happened to me so as to not repeat this into the future. It was there my counselor introduced me to the relationship tool called boundaries. Just like you, I had never heard of this subject, let alone ever practiced or applied it to the conflicts in my life.
But as I started to learn about boundaries and reflected upon my life, I realized that I was trying to be the pleaser, the fixer, and the one who could solve relationship problems. In therapy, I learned what to say yes to, how to say no, and began the process of taking responsibility for my happiness and my life. Instead of focusing on others so much, I began to live a balanced life by taking care of me.
My hope and prayer is you will see the benefits of working on you and your relationships through the lens of love and boundaries. I believe when you learn about boundaries, you will receive the love and acceptance you need. When you are ready to get started, give me a call at 626.791.1488.
For those who want to know about my credentials and professional journey, please read below.
I received my counseling degree from California State University, Los Angeles and my theology degree from Fuller Seminary, Pasadena. I am an Ordained Minister, certified as a Spiritual Director and a Hospital Chaplain. I currently maintain a private practice in Altadena, CA and am licensed in California to do psychotherapy as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
For the past two decades, I have worked in various capacities in psychiatric hospitals, drug rehab clinics, medical centers, church counseling settings, and part of a group private practice in Florida and California. I have worked along physicians, psychiatrists and nurses providing diagnostic and therapeutic services to individuals, couples, families and groups.
My clinical and special interests are in helping adults, marriages and parents find ways to trust and build better relationships. I bring experience and expertise in psychology, leadership and spirituality, which helps me connect with, and provide answers to, adults in many venues. I especially am focused on helping spouses and people who are in a relationship with someone who drinks or other various addictions, learn how to set limits and regain control of their lives. My approach as a therapist is reflect the counseling model of Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend by guiding individuals to learn how to bond, set boundaries, resolve issues of good and bad and regain control of their lives. In addition, my wife Cynthia, who brings years of experience in her role as nurse and peer counselor, counsels with me to provide a safe environment to help women and couples find meaningful relationships for their lives.