Christian Marriage: How to Build Trust (Part 3 of 4).
Greetings. In my first two posts, I focused on reliable or dependable trust. But now I want to go deeper and talk about emotional or heart trust. When you build a reputation in your marriage that you will be there for your spouse and you can show evidence of being dependable and reliable, so is the important of emotional trust when it comes to building trust. Far too often, one spouse maybe highly responsible when it comes to reliable trust but their heart is far from being trusted when it comes to the focus of emotional connection.
What is heart trust? This means as a spouse, you are convinced that despite all the fights and storms and challenges you and your spouse have had, you remain very sure, with no doubt, that your spouse will always care for you and value you. When you participate in heart trust, you go beyond just being a responsible spouse when it comes to tasks and commitments. Now you are saying to your spouse that you really do matter, I do care for you, and I do value you as a person and as my spouse.
When you are able to do this, then you are able to bring a deep sense of security and connection between the two of you that you really do value the other person and this marriage and that despite the ups and downs, you want to bring security and safety to the marriage by demonstrating in words and feelings a deep sense of heart trust.
Heart trust occurs when you really believe and are convinced without any doubt that your spouse is genuinely interested in your welfare and in what is best for the relationship. Yes, you can trust your spouse to pick up the children from baseball practice but you can also trust that he will not cheat on you nor allow his eyes or his mind to wander and think of someone else.
Thus you are able to perceive and be convinced that your spouse to be kind, generous, thoughtful, considerate and having your well-being present at all times. When you do perceive and feel this in your heart, you can say to yourself over and over again that I can trust my spouse with my heart, my feelings, my thoughts, and my intentions because I know he wants to hold and guard my heart. Just like giving your spouse a new kitten or a new puppy, you can also give your heart to your spouse knowing they will love, protect, and hold your heart with gentleness and kindness.
In fact, research has shown that heart trust, or faith in one’s spouse to be caring and loving, does predict how well a couple may do over the long run for a long and lasting marriage. Sure having things in common can be important but it is not nearly as important as a predictor for a long and lasting marriage.
So let me ask you a question: When was the last time you sat down with your spouse and discussed heart trust? It is tempting to sit down with your spouse and talk about the daily events of the day or topics and problems that need to be fixed around the house, but how often do you focus on talking about heart trust? Can you see yourself having a conversation with your spouse in which you ask how is heart trust building in our marriage? If you are having troubles doing this, feel free to give me a call and let me sit down with you and your spouse to help build this heart trust. Marriages that really work and do last place value on heart trust and wanting a deep connection. Thanks for reading.